My Personal Story

All those years of research...

I have always been very interested in genealogy. Growing up my mother told me that my father was a man named Daryl Foster, who she had been married to when I was a young baby. My mother was barely 19 when she gave birth to me in Vancouver, BC.

I remembered Daryl, although he and my mother divorced when I was about 4 years old and I didn’t see him after that, partly because he returned to BC. My mother enrolled me in school under the last name Foster, the same as my sister, who was 4 years younger. When I was about 9 years old, Daryl died. A few years later, I heard from a relative that Daryl was not in fact my father and that another young man my mother had dated in Ontario was. This man had also died, around the time I was born. This didn’t make much sense to me, as I was pretty sure my mother had been living for some time in Vancouver before she became pregnant with me. I asked my mother and she assured me that Daryl was, in fact, my father. A couple of years later, I needed to get a copy of my birth certificate. Almost all the information I put on my application was flagged as incorrect. My mother insisted that she had put “father unknown” because she was in a fight with Daryl at that time. I suspected she was lying, but when I asked if she was sure I didn’t have any half-siblings out there she assured me that she was quite certain. Oddly, this didn’t seem like a lie and I assumed if Daryl wasn’t my father, the other young man from Ontario who had also died likely was, so either way it didn’t much matter.

Over the years I did a bit of research into Daryl’s family tree, but some of the information my mother provided wasn’t quite right, and I focused mainly on my maternal family. Still, I did do several hundred hours of research into what I believed was my paternal family. In 2003 I moved from Ontario to the Vancouver, BC area and actually met many members of the Foster family at that time. When I asked they said they weren’t certain if Daryl was my father or not.

The Search Begins

After my mother passed in 2008, there was another situation (you can read about that here) and I began to give the question of my father’s identity a great deal of thought. By 2011, I had made a blog post, looking for people who knew my mother in the years leading up to my birth. I also ordered a DNA kit from 23andMe. I figured I have done so much research into my family tree, surely I will see my matches and it will be obvious to me if Daryl was my father or not! Oh, how wrong I was!!! Back in 2011, genetic genealogy was still a very new thing. All my matches were very distant, and I could not make sense of them at all. I started researching how to use your DNA results to find your birth parents. I asked my sister to also take a DNA test so I could see if she matched me as a full sister or half-sister, and I also asked my other half-sister and half-brother and my mother’s father to take tests at 23andMe, so I could sort my maternal matches from my paternal matches. They all agreed (because I’m a lucky girl to have the best family!). A few weeks later the results were in, and …..my sister was my half-sister, and we all matched my maternal grandfather (phew!).

I began working on my DNA matches and started to look for who my father was. I figured perhaps my mother had no clue. No one had any ideas, and I was sure the Ontario man mentioned earlier was not the one. I made spreadsheets and contacted all my matches, and updated my blog posts about my mother. I researched every detail about using autosomal DNA I could find. And I waited.

First Contact

Some weeks later, I was contacted by a man who was confident he was my father. I believed that he believed he was, and he clearly knew my mother well. I had left out certain details in my blog posts. The idea is to keep people from contacting and scamming you by repeating back what you have posted. He said he had loved my mother a great deal and had Googled her name, and came across my blog post. He agreed to do a DNA test at 23andMe to confirm he was my father. The results came back a few weeks later, and he is 100% my father! He then came to visit me and my family, bringing my paternal grandmother with him! My paternal grandmother was also a genealogist, as was her sister. Oh, and I do have two half-siblings on my father’s side. Both are women and younger than me. Apparently, my father had known my mother was pregnant and was around initially, but my mother did not want him involved, and he respected her wishes. I may never know why my mother lied to me for all those years, but I do know my paternal family tree now.

My mission continues

Since I had already learned so much about genetic genealogy, I started working on answering some genealogy brick walls with my DNA matches. I also helped some of my DNA matches learn their birth parents. I then added helping people with their DNA and finding birth parents to my professional services. Over the years I have helped many people, and have seen mostly happy reunions and success stories of connecting people with their biological families. While I am very open about my own personal story, I keep any stories shared with me strictly confidential unless you wish your story shared. If I have solved your mystery using your DNA matches, and you would like to be featured on my site, please let me know!